A Field Guide to Dangerous Women

There is a certain kind of woman people call dangerous. Not because she is cruel or intimidating, but because she has stopped being easy to control. She knows what she wants, she knows what she doesn’t, and most importantly, she knows she can leave.

She is the woman who says no without spending the next twenty minutes explaining why. She doesn’t feel responsible for making everyone comfortable with her decisions. She has realised that someone being disappointed in her doesn’t automatically mean she has done something wrong.

She is also the woman who leaves. Sometimes it’s dramatic, but more often it isn’t. She simply stops returning to friendships, relationships, jobs and versions of herself that no longer feel right. There is no announcement. One day, she just chooses herself and keeps going.

She wants things, too. Money, beautiful clothes, a career she is proud of, love, adventure, a beautiful home, maybe all of it. She doesn’t pretend she is above wanting a good life just to seem effortless or low-maintenance. She likes beautiful things because she likes beautiful things. She works hard because she wants more. There is nothing embarrassing about that.

And perhaps the most dangerous thing about her is that she has stopped needing to be chosen. She doesn’t need everyone to like her, understand her or approve of her choices. She can be soft without being submissive, feminine without being fragile, ambitious without apologising for it.

A dangerous woman isn’t someone who has power over other people. She’s someone who has finally realised that other people don’t have power over her.

Maybe that’s what we should really mean when we call a woman dangerous.